The Young Lady Speaks

It's been too long

2009-09-19T18:48:00.000-07:00

So in honor of my completely random self....and the fact that I haven't posted anything in 8 whole months....I'd like to say HI. :-) Hopefully I can get it together soon.

It Will

2009-01-31T20:56:00.000-08:00

As the first month in 2009 comes to an end I am feeling very reflective. I don't know why. Well, maybe I do.

Nothing (at the moment) seems to be happening the way I thought it would. But I will continue to keep my head up. No need in feeling sorry for myself.

I must have faith that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

It will.

~The Young Lady

Hannah Montana Freak

2009-01-31T20:21:00.000-08:00

Can't wait for this to come out!

Mind Games

2009-01-30T13:59:00.000-08:00

Its coming so fast and they tell me not to worry
How can I not worry when pain is coming at me in a hurry
Rushing through time
It wants to be mine
I dodge the shot
I beat the clock
What idea is this?
If only it would miss
its coming so fast and they tell me not to worry
How can I not worry when pain is coming at me in a hurry
watch out for the slap
watch out for the fall
more dangerous than the cliff
the biggest killer of them all
My mind keeps on running
its telling me to go
and run away
But. I. Will. Stay.

~The Young Lady

Wish you well

2009-01-30T13:52:00.000-08:00

Thoughts are racing...heart is pacing.
I pretend not to hear you...
Don't tell me what I don't want to hear
Don't show me what I don't want to see
Heaven sent, I thought it was...
but maybe just not meant to be
Who knows what the future holds...
only time will tell
But whatever may come, near or far...
please know I wish you well

~The Young Lady

CRAP X 2

2009-01-23T08:28:00.000-08:00

UGHHH!!! I broke my OWN rules AGAIN. CRAP!

Gotta start making better decisions young lady.

~The Young Lady

I Fell in LOVE

2009-01-20T20:51:00.000-08:00

Is it possible to fall in love with a couple? Well I have. Multiple times. And again when I saw this tonight.

Proud to be an American

2009-01-20T19:05:00.000-08:00

Today is one of the best days of my life. I was not in DC but that's ok.....ive spent summers and plenty of time in that city (and I'm from MD so I've had my share of dc). I am just proud to be an American. I am honored to be in this country. I am honored to be alive to have this man be MY president.

The swearing in....the parade....the balls. THAT DANCE. Barack and Michelle's first dance as the President and First Lady was a dream to watch. As beyonce sang...just feet from the first couple I was filled with emotion....filled with encouragement.

This has been one of the best days of my life. I spent it with good friends and I watched a miracle occur. I am so proud of my country. I am so proud of my country. This is beyond inspiration....this is hope.

~The Young Lady

What it really means

2009-01-19T10:13:00.000-08:00

This moment is not just for me, this moment is for the enslaved woman in the 17th centry America. She lay there on her back staring at the stars. Its cold and wet outside but she rather lay outside on the soft soil than the hard wood of the shack where the others are. As she stares at that sky she wonders about her son and whether he is ok. She wonders where he is. She wonders if he is alive. She wonders if he is thinking of her. The enslaved woman longs for her husband who was ripped from her arms a few weeks before. Who was he sold to? Is he dead? All the woman can do it wonder. All she can do is pray. So she prays. She prayed to God, "God please keep my family, my son and my dear husband. Their skin is black and their hearts are strong. Please keep them. One day God, my child won't have to be afraid. My son will walk free. My husband will walk with his head facing the sky. Please God keep my people. The master and his family will one day bow down to my people on THIS soil. Amen" She prayed that prayer for you and me.

This moment. January 20th, 2009 is for that woman. I am experiencing this for her. I will never forget that. I can never take that for granted. I, myself, was not there for the struggle. But I can sit here today and say I am proud to be an African American woman. I am proud of my heritage and the strength that my anscestors had. My blood is rich and full of life because of those who sacrificed and died. I was not there for the struggle but the electricity of joy, excitement and pride shoot through my body just the same. They are with me, the people who came before me are here with me and living through me. They too are smiling today. They too are rejoicing for this marvelous occassion. The United States of America now has a Black President. I love my brown skin and I love this country. Thank you God for Barack Obama.

~The Young Lady

Letting Go

2009-01-18T08:31:00.000-08:00

Letting go is a decision that you must make. Between you and God it's a give and take. Its your choice to make peace with destiny and fate. Its up to God.... for in his hand he takes you and your faith... Small as a seed....small as a grain of sand.....Precious little understanding on our eternal needs beyond this land. We hold this ignorance and we carry this hope. The goal is to let go on a good and blessed note. Letting go is a decsion that you must make. Between you and God its a give and take. Ultimately the help comes from above. Your little efforts are overshadowed by his mercy and love. Please let it go and this you cannot fake. Because from you...your blessings he can and will take.

~The Young Lady

The Obama Express

2009-01-17T12:33:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELLE OBAMA: My first Lady :-) A strong black woman and a great mother and wife.

I've been GLUED to CNN ALLLL day long and I probably will be all day. Wolf, Anderson, Soledad, Josh, Roland...have been outside all day lol...and I've been right there with them. I'm a CNN freak.

I wish I was home right now...Baltimore...DC....Maryland in general. Obama has been on the 'Obama Express' all day. He started in Philly...Wilmington...then BALTIMORE and finally DC. Growing up so close to DC its weird seeing everyone around the country migrating to the city...especially since its in the teens in Maryland. Baltimore, Maryland is my home and as I watch the crowd there in Baltimore waiting for Obama to pull up on his train I soooo wish i was there. BUT im here in Atl at school. I'm too broke to go bacl home for the Inauguration. SO for now i shall sit here and watch Wolf...Anderson...Josh....Soledad...and Roland.

~The Young Lady

To You From Me

2009-01-17T12:30:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to express what I'm trying to say. Is it accepted, is it ok? If I express this will there be away? Is this wrong or is this right? I won't let it go without a fight. But I will because its on my chest. I must say... once I speak it you might just walk away. Return my texts? Is what you won't do. Answer the phone when I call? I doubt that too. Speaking the truth doesn't always bring happiness. Speaking the truth can often bring you lonely-ness. I am brave enough to say it. I am brave enough to face it. I figure I'd say this while you still have breath. Who knows how long we have here, who knows how much time we have left? So brace yourself for impact...make sure your seatbelt in secure and intact. Because the truth is that.....I like you a lot and I hope you like me back.

~The Young Lady

Goodbye to Writer's Block

2009-01-15T19:15:00.000-08:00

A new but good friend has inspired me to write poetry again. I used to write in high school but recently I've been re-inspired to write. I thank him for that.

You speak blasphamy and then you ask me to cut you some slack. But in spite of yourself you continue talking smack. My mental overcomes the sentimental. My intuition creates and enables destiny to come into fruition. If I have ever confused abused or misused you in anyway please forgive me and my dismay. You speak but I don't hear you and you talk to the wall. I must never know everything because the weight of it will make my world fall. You speak blasphamy an you ask me to cut you some slack. Please stop and just take it all back.

~The Young Lady

Another Boondocks Moment

2009-01-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

Boondocks

Jamie Foxx at his best

2009-01-14T12:55:00.000-08:00

Blah. But I'll be ok

2009-01-14T12:19:00.000-08:00

Even I go against my rules sometimes. CRAP.

~The Young Lady

It Really Makes You Think

2009-01-07T11:42:00.000-08:00

Its funny how we were born at this time in American history. Amazingly Blessed is what we are to experience this. Just think about everything that these pictures express.

Prop 8?

2009-01-06T13:15:00.001-08:00

Commercials that made me giggle

2009-01-06T09:11:00.000-08:00

KP

2009-01-05T21:06:00.001-08:00

KP is a young man who may be the most-cute-best-handsom looking guy I have ever known personally. We met in kindegarten....and I've pretty much know him my whole life. As he says..."its a whole lot of history." ANYWAYS....he friended me on facebook the other day and he's still as beautiful as ever. I remember going over his house and playing video games...I remember in first grade when he was my "boyyyyy friend" ewwww COODIES. O yea and when he ended up liking my ex best friend. He even asked me to give her the note. I remember sitting next to him in the sixth grade and just staring at him lol...but he was always just my friend. AND when we got to high school and every girl wanted him...i mean they wanted him before but now he was a football player....and I guess my friendship wasnt as important. But from kindegarten to 12th grade...i had one pure crush and it was KP...as he liked every girl but me. REALLY....my point is that its funny how life works out. I obsessed over this boy all of my life and one day out of the blue he friends me on FB and I just smiled. Its funny how stuff like that happens. Im pretty sure its called growing up...but I like to think it all meant something. KP will always have a special place in my heart and he doesnt even know it.....but we'll always have "a whole lot of history."

Pretty Good Day

2009-01-05T20:35:00.000-08:00

I went Ice Skating today with my friend from school and my sister. It was a lot of fun and I did not fall at all. I wanted to have hot chocolate but I opted out of that choice. Instead...we decided to go to TGI Fridays. I enjoyed my night because it was fun but more so because it reflects the type of person I am. I enjoy doing things like that and I have been wanting to Ice Skate for a while. I think I will put an ice rink in my backyard when I'm grown and have my own house.

When I get back to school this weekend I am going straight to my mail box. I am no longer afraid as to what I am going to find. God has the wheel...and not me. SOOO I am looking forward to opening that mail box...yes i am.

A friend from high school who I am also in college with told me that I was a nerd in high school LOLOL. She went onto say that I was cool and not dork nerdy...just smart nerdy and everyone liked me. I guess thats a nice thing to know. haha.

Me...Married?

2009-01-04T22:39:00.000-08:00

I did what i said i would't.

This chapter in my life is called: blah.

I've enjoyed this break and hated this break all at the same time. I've made and lost friends (Made and lost = same friend). I've gotten closer to my sister. We've hung out a lot and found out that we are similar and very different...yet raised by the same people...we're just from two different eras.

This is my last week at home until I graduate. Next week im riding back home with Best Friend. We are actually starting to be 'just' friends....and I pray to God I can handle all that comes with that.

I was telling the friend that I made and lost that I have been wanting to do a lot of things that brought me comfort as a child...and I was also telling this friend/ex friend that I don't like dating and talking to guys. i enjoy the stability of a relationship. This friend, being the very insightful person that he is suggested that I want to get married hence my need for stabiliy and comfort...

I dunno. Who Knows? Not me.

~The Young Lady

Sexiest Men (I'm Bored)

2009-01-03T21:04:00.000-08:00

WILL DEMPS

He is # 1 because he just is. AND he played for my home town team: BMORE Ravens! He's a better model than football player...but oh well. He's my #1 pick. He was in the Latoya Luckett Video......yea the one she had. Anyways...I met him once and freaked out. It wasn't a good look for me...but hey! There's always the memories. Will...just keep being hot ;-)

T.I.

This young man is SWAGGER.

MICHAEL EALY

This is the guy from Barbershop and YES my new fav Beyonce video...he used to date Hallie Barry. But Most of all he has the most beautiful Green eyes and he is JUST beautiful. Love it.

My Dillema in Words and Thought

2009-01-02T11:31:00.000-08:00

My words have left me lonely and my thoughts leave me haunted. If only my words and thoughts brought me what I wanted.

If my words could walk would they walk lightly as to not to hurt your ears? If my words could run maybe they would tred quickly across my tongue and not linger in the air. If my words could jump they would exit my mouth without fumble. They would land softly on your mind politely and humble.

If my thoughts could walk they would saunter along my shoulders...whisper in my ears and keep my joy quietly sober. If my thoughts could run maybe they would go in circles...as the memories of happiness run over and over. If my thoughts could jump they wouldn't cause me pain...they would know when to exit and land...even in the rain. But the truth is still the same....my words have left me lonely and my thoughts have left me harunted and much worse....they have brought me pain.

Where is there joy...peace...or happiness to gain?

~The Young Lady

I am SOOO 2009

2009-01-01T10:24:00.000-08:00

I graduate this year from college. Whenever I start stressing about what's going on at the moment...I will think to that day...May 17, 2009. All of the years...all of the homework...papers...presentations...research...guys....parties...movie nights...organizations.... comes down to that one day. The day I graduate is definitley something I am looking forward to.

~The Young Lady

LAST POEM OF 2008

2008-12-31T08:46:00.000-08:00

2008 is almost over and I must confess that the most wonderful moments overall were the ones you won't expect. The sunset and sunrise over the skyline of the city..those are the scenes that I feel were so pretty. Full moons and orange leaves were a source of joy you see. A call from a friend to ride around the town or a shoulder to lean on when i was feeling down. I can't express the happiness that the small things can bring...it puts in perspective most everything. This year has seen my tears..this year has seen my smile. I won't forget this year, I know, for quite a while.

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

~The Young Lady

BEST MUSIC VIDEO OF 2008

2008-12-31T08:40:00.000-08:00

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

BEST MOVIE OF 2008

2008-12-31T01:18:00.000-08:00

A Boondocks Moment

2008-12-30T22:58:00.000-08:00

FFW to 2:30...LMAO

Time

2008-12-30T22:40:00.000-08:00

In circles I walk, preoccupied with time. I count the seconds,minutes,hours until what's mine will be mine. I keep walking in circles because of the fear and the hope that one day time will collide with me and be my friend. Will that be the beginning or will it be the end? I walk in circles because time is no ones friend. Who am i kidding? Time just ticks until the end. I count the seconds, muinutes, hours until what's mine is mine....but it all depends on the time.

~The Young Lady

Live

2008-12-30T10:38:00.000-08:00

There are so many changes happening in my life and I'm scared, mortified and horrified. Will life work the way I want it, will eveyrthing pull through? And you! I laugh at you. You have no clue what is in store: the complexities, realities, curiosities, opportunites, priorities.
Please! Just wake up and you will see. There are so many changes happening in my life and I'm scared, mortified and horrified. BUT I'd rather be scared than UN aware. I'd rather be mortified than UN prepared. I'd rather be horrified than 'I don't care'. Ignorance kills. Ignorance destroys. Ignorance should not be played with like a little child plays with toys. Prepare for your lives and live them too. Don't let yor life prepare and live for you.

~The Young Lady

Fears, Tears, Years

2008-12-29T17:25:00.000-08:00

Fears, tears and years: they are all bull to me. What lasts past what we can see? What could actually set us free from the traps we have set up in our mind? Step into the light and the palpatations of your heart will propell u further into the point where you cannot ignore your own ignorance that screams louder than those fears, tears or years.

Shout out loud and maybe the chains will break. shout louder maybe the wall will collapse before your eyes. Remove the glasses and the shades and allow the real world to disprove all of the empty faith we have in man. I fear no man, my tears only fall alone and the years will go on with or without me. Fears, tears and years: its all bull to me.

~The Young Lady

The Rain

2008-12-29T17:17:00.000-08:00

The rain, the rain, the rain washed away my pain but could this be permanent? one could only hope because the drops gave me peace and the sound made me smile.
Before the rain came depression tried to get me but the bastard didnt get through to me. I laughed at him cuz he was so rude to me...but then reality introduced me 2 possiblity. Reality was cool but he was kinda boring then I met dilusion and I ended up soaring...into the arms of destiny...who would have thought it could be. But the reain was my first love...and washed away all the pain.

~The Young Lady

The DOs and DO NOTs of dating

2008-12-28T18:47:00.000-08:00

After a year of ups and downs with he opposite sex I have come to some conclusions:

1) No matter the circumstance ASSUME the guy is thinking the OPPOSITE of whatever you are thinking. This will eliminate the downfall when they actually are thinking the opposite of you OR will give you a pleasant surprise when you are on the same page.

2) Do not lead guys on just to get your temporary fix of attention.

3) Being a tease is risky business. If your not going to have sex with a guy u should be upfornt in your friendship/courtship and tell him that you aren't trying to do anything. OTHERWISE....you may end up being a tease and I learned a while ago that that is NOT cute.

4)If all a guy talks about it sex....use your common sense about his intentions.

5) NEVER assume the guy is going to pay. Always begin to pay for yourself..if he stops you or does not allow you to pay...GREAT...but just in case make sure you have your own money. PLUS the guy will like that u were willing to pay for your own movie...dinner...or whatever.

6) If you are chilling or hanging out for the first time do not hang in your room or dorm or whatever...do it in a public place...somewhere neutral. The second time can be a chill-inside the house night.

7)NEVER call more than twice in a row without them calling you back. Same goes for texting.

~The Young Lady

It's THAT time of year.

2008-12-22T17:07:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhhh...I love my family...but they are driving me BONKERS. I'm broke and I hate being dependent on my parents for EVERYTHING...even gas for my car....its just confining. And...yes...I know I'm a spoiled brat...but we must move on from that.

I got one of my gifts early...some UGGS....they're cute. I didn't ask for them...so i will be thankful.

What I really want for Christmas...don't think I will get...but everything happens when it's supposed to, right?

I'm broke...spent all the money I had on gifts for others....so yea. Merry Christmas lol.

I CAN'T wait for Christmas dinner at my aunt's house...it's tradition...and you DON't Monkey with tradition!

~The Young Lady

Why am I trippin?

2008-12-14T12:34:00.000-08:00

I keep shooting myself in the frickin foot! What in the world is making me sabotage my own happiness???? What is wrong with me? When things get good....i go and mess them up. Something is up with me. I just have no clue what it is. All I know is I need to figure it out before I push the wrong button and lose the good people and things in my life.

So even though you're not gonna read this....I apologize.

~The Young Lady

Kinda...But not Really

2008-12-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

Soooooo.....an ex of mine (from like 3 years ago) just got married.

Profile:

When we dated: All American Football Player at College in NC.
6'7....handsom....not the smartest ever.

Now: Police Officer in a small town. Married. Child on the way.

The fact that he got married didn't take me by surprise but it does make me feel some type of way. Not jealous, not sad...maybe old...like I'm at an age where ex boyfriends get married. It's weird.

So....Kinda...but not really.

~The Young Lady

First Step Is Admitting....

2008-12-07T10:51:00.000-08:00

It's official. I'm addicted to caffeine. First step is admitting you have a problem right?? lol

Here is how i know: I adjust the caffeine that I intake based on how awake I have to be.

1) Pulling an all nighter for a test: Large Iced Coffe from McDonalds...Preferably Vanilla.

2) Morning of boring classes after a long night studying...or talking on the phone: Large Sweet Tea from...where else...McDonalds. The hour in which I went to sleep/how boring and long the classes are will determine whether I ask for 'no ice' or not.

3) In need of a quick boost to go out with the girls or go to a movie without falling asleep.....RED BULL BABY!! It works...but not for long. Only good for short term fixes.

4) Need something to cheer me up: Starbucks Frapaccino! The best. Mocha or Vanilla will do. On a side note....those things got me through drvers ed....the most depressing class ever.

5) Nostalgic trip down memory lane....or just needing to relax: Hot chocolate...with Marshmellows...enough said.

6) WORK 9-5: .....Black Coffee....hot...with sugar and cream please. Mind you the only time I work a 9-5 is in the summer so....yea.

~The Young Lady

TMI. But I need to vent. Thanks.

2008-12-05T19:32:00.000-08:00

I'm a senior in college now. But I'm goin to take you back to September of 2005. I was freshman. I had a few puppy love situations in high school but nothing too serious. On September 11, 2005 my infatuation was captured by a freshman at brother school. As a naiive freshman I had never cmpletely understood what everyone had told me...the male freshman are looking for girls to sleep with and the girl freshman want boyfriends. It was true but I guess I chose to be defiant. He sweet talked me...he showed me attention and I was verrrry physically attracted to him (he had a nice body-tall-muscular. I was hooked...and as a virgin....away from the shelter of mommy and daddy....free for the first time...with a boy who seemed to care about me...I did the typial STUPID thing...that you can probably figure out.

I quickly became attached..

anyway...I could go into two years worth of 'he hurt me' 'he used me' 'he told me he loved me and didn't mean it'.

He broke my heart over and over. That is a fact. AND I am mature enough now to acknowlege that I allowed him to break my heart. INFACT....I wasn't perfect during our year long relationship. BUT I will not go into the millions of details that seemed HUGE then and tiny now.

I will however note a specific time that hurt me...only because its the day that reality hit me in the face. I had done that STUPID thing with him, forever giving him a piece of me...the most pure piece....and told him that I was falling for him. For a MONTH after...her didn't speak to me...ignored me and acted as if he didnt know me. But...again I can admit NOW that I was dumb and let myself get hurt.

Anyhooo...we ended up talking again after that.

My scatterbrain is inevitably taking you on a journey around the mulberry bush. Sorry.

About 2 years and some months ago we cut ties (physically) and THAT was some drama mixed with rumors and lies...emotionally we had cut ties long before. To the outside world my first was the HUGEST ass to me. I will admit he was...but of course I wasn't completely stupid back then. He wasn't alll bad. We had fun times...a ot of fun times. Its funny how its easier to express tha bad about people and vent about the negative and leave people believing this person is evil...and lookin at u like you were the victim/idiot for talking to him.

After we cut ties...i began seeing best friend (my life took a very positive shift).

MY POINT:

We speak often. Usually through facebok messanger or aim. Since our drama we have actaully been able to maintain civil contact. At one poin he meant everything to me...but I knew was never 'the one'.

Today he told me he was thankful to have had me in his life. Basically saying he is better for having known me. They were simple words but they meant a lot.

~The Young Lady

Secret: #1

2008-12-04T19:50:00.000-08:00

Sooo...periodically I'm going to share a secret with you.

I have kissed a friends ex. It was years ago but it has stayed with me so I have to let it off my chest. I felt so awful about I actually made myself sick.

~The Young Lady

CHRISTMAS

2008-12-04T17:51:00.000-08:00

After hearing about the man who was killed by MANIAC (typical holiday shoppers) on Black Friday at a Wal-Mart in NY...I really had to take a second (a few days) and think about what it all meant.

AMERICANS have lost their GOD GIVEN minds!

Please...people. Read Matthew 1:18-23. That is what Christmas is about.

NOT...

Santa Clause (although I love the old white guy)
Gifts
Food
Anything MATERIAL

It IS about...

LOVE.

If that is not why u celebrate Christmas then maybe u should make up your own holiday and name it "im a selfish greedy person" and stop trying to change Christmas into meaning something that it doesn't...and while you're doing that...turn to Luke and read Luke 2:1-20. I'm just sayin.

Ok I can now jump down off of my soap box.

~The Young Lady

Scarlet Takes a Tumble

2008-12-02T10:53:00.000-08:00

I hope everyone had a GREAT Thanksgiving...and ate a LOT of Turkey ;-)

I saw this video a couple months ago. But today the 15 year old Scarlet was on the Tyra show. She was talking about her youtube video and the joy and laughter that it has brought to millions. It made me realize the importance of being able to laugh at yourself and how we shouldn't take ourselves so seriously. We are discouraged and knocked down by people all the time...we shouldn't help them by being so criticle of ourselves.

So...don't be afraid to laugh at yourself...we should be more like Scarlet (well...besides the brused behind)

Reflection

2008-11-21T16:33:00.000-08:00

The semester is coming to an end soon. I only have one semester left here and then I am set free from this institution....from this home. I have mixed emotions. So much has changed this semester and I know they will just continue to change as I go on. I have had some of the most wonderful times of my life here. I have met people who will always be in my life and some who have taught me a lot about life.
For now....reflection should be put on hold...i still have a couple more weeks until Christmas break.

I'm going out tonight and were going to a Hooka Bar! and my buddies are hillarious! so I'm excited.

~ The Young Lady

Simply...Beautiful.

2008-11-19T23:17:00.000-08:00

The most charming interview yet. I'm in love with their relationship. They finish eachothers thoughts and genuinly seem to love and respect each other. The chemistry is obvious. WATCH :-)

This is the end of the interview...but its my fav part

Watch CBS Videos Online

Cute

2008-11-19T21:13:00.000-08:00

This picture just makes me smile. Biden turns 66 years old today...Barack gave him gifts and 12 cupcakes AND sang him Happy Birthday! I just think thats too cute. awwww. I love my President and Vice President!

READ. dang...U called him WHAT?

2008-11-19T09:40:00.000-08:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081119/ap_on_re_mi_ea/ml_al_qaida_obama

Not sure how I feel about this article. Al Qaida calling Barack Obama a House Negro...lol. Am I evil for that making me chuckle? It's all just absurd and I guess its so stupid that a chuckle came out. Its just that we have come so far to get the white people in THIS country to treat us as equals...now we got Al Qaida callin us names. wow lol

Forgive me.

What do you think about the article?

~The Young Lady

Don't Read This Because I Shouldn't be Typing IT

2008-11-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

AHHHH...I'M STILL WRITING THE SAME PAPER I TOLD U ABOUT in the post right below this one!!!!!!! Hours ago......! The next time you see something from me...I BETTER BE DONE THIS PAPER!!

(lol look at me yelling at you..but really yelling at myself)

It's late. Forgive me.

~The Young Lady

I talk like this cuz I can back it up..Life and Such

2008-11-17T15:11:00.000-08:00

That's a line from Beyonce's new album on a song titled "Ego"

I wouldn't call myself the biggest beyonce fan ever but I have a huge crush on her new album. I pre-ordered it and everything on itunes.

That's neither here nor there.

Actually, I should be writing an International Relations paper...but the senioritis is getting the best of me today... hey who am i kidding? Senioritis has gotten the best of me all semester. My mind seems to be everywhere but where its supposed to be. I check my mailbox twice a day looking for acceptances...I think about stupid boys...I dream about my future...where I will work...who I will mary...what my family will look like...what I'm eating for dinner....pizza? See!!! I need to concentrate on the tasks at hand. Sitting here writing this isnt helping either I suppose.

What the HaY....

SOOO I have a crush... i hope he's crushing on me back.

THEN...I have two guys who I think like me...but I'm not attracted to them AT all. How do I break it to them? In a way I think I've lead them on...HEY I like the attention ;-(

OO and there is this one friend I have.....and against my better judgement and MIGHTY denial....I am beginning to like him. YUCK.

I am all over the place.

BUT my heart stays planted...... with him.

This sucks.

MEANWHILE....

YALL....you will be the first I tell when I get those acceptances. Well...after I fall to my knees and thank GOD!

Ok I think I will start my paper....again... ummm maybe in a sec.

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I'm driving home with 'bestfriend'.. Pray for me yall!

Ok sooooooo......procrastination is a BITCH (excuse my language...its sooo not the language of a Young Lady...believe me, I cringed typing that word...but its the truth).

I must go. Toodles.

~The Young Lady

Simply Perplexed

2008-11-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Why is it that the guys I'm interested in aren't really interested in me? BUT the guys that make me GAG are the only ones pursuing me?? One of the great ironies of life. I'm not tripping over it or anything...but i'd be lying if I said it didn't perplex the heck outta me every now and then. I'll be patient. As always...I will seek God.

(Ahhhhhhh.....frustration please leave me!!!)~~ Mild Relapse.

lol. Thanks for listening.

~The Young Lady

One of those WTF moments....

2008-11-08T13:38:00.000-08:00

But COMPLETELY HILLARIOUS!

MARK MY WORDS BLOGGERS!

2008-11-03T16:31:00.000-08:00

BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA IS MY PRESIDENT! AND HE'S BLACK. :-)

That's all I wanted to say. lol

~The Young Lady

"WHY NOT??"

2008-11-02T13:04:00.000-08:00

There are times in our life when we have an opportunity to do something that we've always wanted to do. Why do these opportunities come? I have no clue. But I'm at the point in my life where new chapters are being written and the pages are turning faster than I can read them. As soon as I start to appreciate one chapter or storyline, the page turns and the next chapter is before me. It is times like these that I must deicide to live. For too long I sat, expecting for the pages to go inreverse. But lie is too short to try and revisite old stories. I am ready for the new. I am ready to do and experience what I have always wanted. I will make mistakes. Infact I want to make mistakes. Nothing is perfect and I know that I am not, nor do I want to be. My hope is that I have no regrets from this point on. I have done things in the past that I regret but I cannot go back and change them. All I can do to correct that is to move forward and make sure that I take every worthwhile opportunity that come my way. This new chapter in my life is called: "Why Not?"

~The Young Lady

This too shall pass.

2008-10-26T11:10:00.000-07:00

It is a beautful sunday afternoon. I'm here to declare that I am on the verge of something GREAT. But first I have to realize:

This too shall pass. I know it will and it will for you as well.

Sometimes we encounter challenges and situations in our lives that feel overwhelming...like we just can't come out from under it. But you can. Just believe that the trial is only temporary and the pain won't last forever. If someone dissappoints you just remember that they are human just like you. If a challege seems impossible just remember that there is nothing that you can't overcome with God. If something confuses you just sit still and the aswer will come. There is no reason to stay in your sorrow, your confusion, or your anger. It will be ok. I know someday soon I will be able write to yall out there in blogger land and tell you how everything that I ever dreamed of is coming true. And you will remember this....you will remember me telling you the moment I let IT go. All of the heartache...all of the sadness...and all of the stress. If I see it coming I'm going the other way. Pretty soon...its gonna be gone. This too shall pass. My blessing is right in front of me...my future is right around the corner. God Bless you.

~The Young Lady

When I ask you if you need a Napkin...Take the hint!

2008-10-21T17:42:00.000-07:00

Soooo I was hanging out with a guy friend.....(don't ask) and he was eating some food. And he was licking his fingers...yuck...insead of wiping his hands on......his shirt...his pants...the couch...a paper towel...a NAPKIN....he takes the time to lick each. and. every. one. of his fingers....yuck. I won't be speaking to him again...hey...im picky.

This is what happens when you try and move on and talk to other people....

YO.THIS.IS.RACIST.

2008-10-17T12:50:00.000-07:00

SOOO. YEA. THIS IS BAD.

BEFORE SHE WAS McCAINS RUNNING MATE SHE PROBABLY WOULDDA VOTED FOR OBAMA:::::

Do you know yourself?

2008-10-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

If you hadn't noticed by now my faith is really important to me. I try to seek God in everything I do.

This weekend I attended an art conference (don't ask) and the people who were there were very...interesting. We had to tell something about ourselves and a lot of the people admitted that they did not yet know themselves. Mind you these people are 30-60 years old. I don't know about you but I wanna know who I am by the time I am that age.

Just something to think about.

The tracks of my tears

2008-10-11T00:27:00.001-07:00

If I could have a song playing as u read this blog post it would be "tracks of my tears" by Smokie Robinson

I used to laugh at the songs that talked about not being able to breath or lose of breath over a guy or girl. I used to. But lately...i see where those songs are coming from.

I like to think of myself as a strong person. So it confuses me when I realize how badly I am dealing with this break up. It hurts. It just hurts. I find myself crying in my room by myself. God is great to me and I am so thankful to him for all of his many blessings. I just seriously loose my breath when I remember how happy I was with him or how perfect for each other we are. I hate crying and I'm tired of it. But the tears come more than I would like to admit. It hurts to be around him especially since we are still good friends. It hurts to be away from him.

Lately I have been going out with friends and trying to enjoy myself. Like tonight, I went to a friends birthday dinner. We had a great time. But guess who was there? My ex's roommate his freshman year and his sophomore year in college. Me and him are friends but of coarse best friend/ex came up more than a couple of times during the birtday dinner. After the dinner the group of us went to a house party/get together. Guys tried to talk to me (which happens...i mean i aint ugly lol) and I closed myself off. Is it crazy that i KNOW what I want...??? I know who i want. I KNOW.. And I dont need to look anymore....does that sound pathetic????? Best friend....maybe he needs to see for himself...i dunno. God Knows...and I'm just gonna be here...waiting...hopefully not in vain.

Its late and I just started crying....so take this rant with a grain of salt. My head will be a little clearer in the morning after I get some sleep.

For now I will leave u with my theme song...

"So take a good look at my face; you see my smile looks out of place; if you look closer it's easy to trace; the tracks of my tears"...

I Draw

2008-10-06T18:33:00.000-07:00

Random....but sometimes I like to draw. I'm not an artist by anymeans...but I can draw. It helps to take my mind off of...everything.

~The Young Lady

SENIOR YEAR and Such

2008-10-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

This senior year stuff is no joke. Applying to Grad School is hard enough...now they're (the powers that be at my institution of higher learning) telling me I need to be applying to jobs too...as a back up...'JUST in case'. OOOO K. So now I am on a mission.... The no DRAMASTRESSORBULLCRAP mission. So far its working. O and after Saturday I will have A LOT more time to Blog with yall. But until then...God Bless You and Gooodnight.

MY FAITH LEADS ME...

2008-10-01T23:02:00.000-07:00

Call me crazy but I want to know that someone is praying for this man..

GIVE ME A BREAK! The Dummies of the Right!

2008-09-29T12:28:00.000-07:00

McCain actually blamed BARACK OBAMA for the failure of the bill to pass in the House????? WHAT??? There is no time to point figers or say Nancy said something that hurt your feelings and so you voted against the bill that could have helped Americans. Why are people so dumb? Republicans...wake up and get a clue!!!!!!! Congress...UUUU have the power to help fix this thing. As I type the market is having the biggest drop ever! -725 the last time I looked. This is not the time for partisan finger pointing. Why are these grown people acting so dumb??????? AHHHHHHH.......

(Mini breakdown aside...this is all making for some great TV) lol

GO OBAMA!

Is this Racism? You Tell Me...

2008-09-16T15:37:00.002-07:00

FUNNY

2008-09-16T15:37:00.001-07:00

DECLARATION OF THE YOUNG LADY

2008-09-16T15:37:00.000-07:00

I'M GOING TO BE PATIENT.

That is all.

Don't Ask questions, I'm just Blessed

2008-09-15T08:53:00.000-07:00

So I'm sitting here...at the Law Firm....the 3rd internship I've had in a year (don't ask questions...I'm just blessed) and I'm realizing that I can actually do THIS. I wan't to be an attorney...and I'm in the process of applying to law schools..and i often wonder if I'm cut out for the job. U know...can I actually handle the day to day stuff. Well I'm here to proclaim...that YES I CAN. Its a wonderful feeling to be confident in your abilities (or rather the abilities that God a has given me). Just wanted to take some time to give thanks. OH and u know that Carrie Underwood song "Jesus take the wheel"....Lets just say she was onto something....lol

TRUTH HURTS! YEA GOP...I'm talking to YOU

2008-09-12T22:59:00.000-07:00

Simply in Love

2008-09-12T22:36:00.000-07:00

I had a really nice night tonight guys! Thanks!

You're right...i need to blog.

Law School Apps and Lsat prep can wait for one night.

I need to get this off my chest....

Its a sucky thing when your in love with your best friend. It's because when your not a 'couple' anymore and your actually bestfriend only....it hurts like hell. He loves me and says he's still in love with me but any talk of being a couple...or the fact that he's pretty much breaking my heart...he pulls away even more. He claims he just doesn't want to be in a relationship...and he just wants a friend. I'm willing to do that because no matter what we are each others better half and he knows that. He constantly reminds me that I'm apart of his family and that i could't get rid of him because he's there to stay. Thats easy for him to say...he's the one who wants the break...NOT ME. Its unfair that I have to be the understanding one and the good friend to accomidate his desire for us to be friends right now. Don't get me wrong...I love him with all of my heart and I have faith that we will get back together...sooner or later. Another reason I am surviving this is because even before we were together...way back when...he's always said...he wants his girl to be his best friend. He want his wife to be his bestfriend. So....for now I really am just his best friend. When I think about it its not that bad. All those girls who may get the chance now to have some of his attention...have NOTHING on me. I know that I have a special place in his heart. Now while I can't promise that I won't evntually date and talk to other guys...I will keep the faith. God is wayyyy to good to me to cry anymore tears!

Thanks for reading. I needed to vent. :-)

Intentions are everything!!

2008-08-29T10:36:00.001-07:00

As a woman the strategic and manipulaive tactics of John McCain picking a woman as his VP to gain support from Hillary Clinton supporters is offensive and quite honestly too late. Besides undermining the intelligence of the American people with a strategic move that would put the dirtiest chess player to shame, he is about 48 hours too late. After Hillary Clinton's magnificent speech on tuesday night and Bill's excellent and eloquent address on Wednesday I think Its safe to say that any Hillary supporter that wasn't feeling Obama before the Democratic convention has moved to Obama with an urgency of unity. With every interview after interview there is proof of this; hard core hillary supporters (I used to be one by the way) who decided that Its not about the person...rather, its about the cause: Well needed change.

John McCain...I'm dissapointed. NOT because you picked a woman..but for the REASON. A person's intentions mean an awful lot to me....and I think many American's feel the same way.

If Only

2008-08-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

If only these words would draw you nearer instead of pushing you away....

The individual beats, rhythms, palpatations of each heart beat move my soul closer to you. I've been here before...this place full of worry, this place full of fear. So you tell me not to worry and you tell me to have faith but I still say I'm scared. I've been here before...so dark and unsure. I want you to say that you love me still. I dont want you to leave , I want you to stay. You don't stay, you leave, you just go far...far away.

RANDOM LEVEL: 7.5

2008-08-17T16:37:00.000-07:00

I'm on my way back from NJ where I attended my cousins wedding. THAT will be discussed when I have time to actually sit downband type (cuz I can only type for but so long on this Palm lol).

My Point: RANDOM THOUGHT....ive alway thought Chris Brown looks like the child of Beyonce and Jay-Z.

THE VIDEO SPEAKS FOR ITSELF HAHAHA

2008-08-15T12:27:00.000-07:00

I OBJECT, I DO!

2008-08-15T07:57:00.001-07:00

I've been in court all morning with the Judge I intern for. Its always cool going to court with her because I sit up on the bench with her. Sitting behind her I can see the full view of the courtroom and it always ignites my imagination. As she sends people away for years in jail or releases them with a lengthy probation/drug treatment evaluation, I can't help but wonder how those people got into the situation in the first place. BUT then i push those thoughts out of mind. If I want to be a lawyer I have to become a little less compassionate (which is sad because I belive my compassion is what sets me apart from the crowd). OR maybe I can just direct my compassion is a different way. What do you think?

Well today is my last day in the courthouse...and next week I head back to ATl with best friend, on tuesday. I love road trips...especially with him. BUT before that I have a wedding to go to. TOnight I'm headed to DC to get my hair did by my cousin's cross dressing hair dresser. This should be interesting to say the leat. I hope he's not one of those hair dressers that put grease in your hair. I HATE THAT lol. Anyways...then after that we are headed to Jersey to go to the wedding tomorrow evening. I LOVE weddings. I already have mine planned. I may share my ideas in a later post...But im afraid someone will copy cat me haha.

IM BAAACK

Ok just got back from court again....which is in the next room...so I didn't go far. Ok well u probably didnt even know i went anywhere.

ANNYYWAYS....where was I? O yea...wedding time. Oh and guess what? My ex (from wayyy back) is best friends with my cousin who is getting married. He is going to be in the wedding and I guess he realized he is about to see me...so he sends me this random as all get out message on Myspace...of all places trynna butter me up (what does he think ima go off on him at the wedding?). I couldn't care less about the guy but principle tells me that I MUST look good when an ex (who broke my heart years ago) sees me for the first time in years. Lets just say my outfit for tomorrow is BANGIN....

PLEASE LADY....I'M TRYNNA EAT

2008-08-14T13:40:00.000-07:00

TO say I was a pig at lunch today would be an understatement. The law clerk treated me to lunch along with the Secrtary of another judge today at the Harbor. Guess where we wnet? 5 Guys! I love that place because u can see the grease coming through the bottom of the bag! O yea...im a fatty at heart (is that wrong to say?)

Sooo I ate a cheese burger with bacon...and the best fries in the world...gained about 5 pounds within the hour we sat there eating (Ok i was the only one eating for the whole hour..ima a slow eater).

MY POINT: We had a great lunch talking about guys and life and such...but there was one problem...a minor but noticable problem that is one of my HUGEST pet peeves...combined with one of the things I've already listed in a previous post.

The Secretary lady who we had lunch with was so sweet and nice and it almost hurts me to say this but SHE IS A SPITTER. OMG. I mean she can shoot things outta her mouth that put the girl from the exorcist to SHAME. She was spitting even before we went to lunch. and NO I don't mean the leaning over and shooting a good ole loogie into the street...i mean....she says a simple 'Hello' and we have water works going everywhere. It got even worse when we started eating...I tried to be slick and cover my drink with my hand whenever she talked. I would have placed a napkin over my food too if it wouldn't have been so obvious! O boy....and I KNOW the law clerk noticed too. Most of the time it was just spit but then once we started eating....who knows what was flying outta her mouth. I tell ya...it was hard to eat....watching the food go up and down in her mouth...then watching it turn into mush before she swallowed it. It took everything inside of me not to tell this woman (who is 30 years older than me) to SHUT her mouth while chewing...AND to make sure all of the remaining particles are out of her mouth before she begins to speak again.

YUCK. Call me a snob if u want. I don't mind this time. LOL

Giving Thanks

2008-08-14T08:45:00.002-07:00

This week has been kinda chill but its given me a chance to reflect on my life and the adventure that is senior year that I am getting ready to embark on. I can't believe I'm about to be a senior...its scary and exciting all at teh same time. I'ma actually moving back on campus after two years of being off campus. That should be verrry interesting. I'm 21 now so I can actually GET IN to places that usually laugh at me for trying to enter.
I've been thinking lately about something my congressman shared with me at lucnh one day; he told me that life is a circle that consists of three parts: Before the storm, going through the storm, and after the storm. There have never been truer words. It started me reflecting on all of the storms I have been in and made it throuhg just since I've been in college and even before that. I smile everytime I think about how scared or nervous I was during a storm and how relieved and blessed I felt when each one of the storms I was in ENDED. Because all of them do. The storms never last forever and thats a lesson that I plan on taking with me always.
My mom has Multiple Sclerosis and it causes her to sometimes have trouble with her balance and can cause her body to just...hurt. Last week she went to Johns Hopkins for a routine, monthly appointment and they ended up admitting her. Now I can't count how many night my mom has spent in the hospital since I was 10. It's not something that shocks me anymore...I don't know if that's good or bad. The awful thing is when i'm at school in Atlanta and I hear from someone a couple days later that she is in the hospital...i feel helpless and useless. ANYWAYS...last week my mom was admitted and I went to go see her after work. We had a great convo, although it kept being interruted by nurses and technichians who needed to take blood or do tests. I enjoyed my time sitting and talking to her...and it makes realize how little we talk when we're actually in the house together.
Well she's out now and back home. She's doing much better and she's even well enough to drive. I used to be embarrased that my om sometimes walked with a cane and at one point had a wheel chair to get aroung. Now that I'm older I can't help but feel overwhelmed with thanks for how blessed I am. I can't believe how selfish I used to be and can still be.
All that so say...Its time for some changes. I need to be thankful for what I have and realize that I am BLESSED and have things and oppotunities that people can only WISH they had. Not to sound full of myself...I'm just being honest.
If I wanted to I could sit here and tell you all of the times that I have been discriminated against because of my skin color or my gender. The world is not always fair and I understand that. Its a very libertating feeling when u realize that the world will let you down but GOD never will. With that understanding I can move forward with the things I can control.

High School Never Ends

2008-08-13T08:14:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was in the mall...spending the final pay check that I had received on Saturday. Minding my business and enjoying the feeling of not being broke, I ran into a girl I went to high school with. After a couple times of running into each other in H & M she asked me if I was going to a party of a guy we went to High School with (I could go into detail about the guy but that is neither here nor there for this story). I will say that he was a jock and still is one in College. Star basketball player with the Mansion for a house..equiped with a pool, waterfall and full basketball court. Anyways she told me I should come to the party because everyone from high school would be there. By everybody...we all know she meant...all the popular kids from high school would be there. I'm not gonna act like I wasn't popular..because I kinda was...but u get my point.
Long story short I show up at this house (My DREAM house...equipped with Full basketball court, waterfall and pool) and realize that I'm about to step into a time machine. I walk in (well not really cuz the part was outside. I see some people I recognize and immediatly attach myself to them. At these parties u look stupid just walking aroun by yourself. I begin conversation with the two youg women and I see that one of them is pregnant...expecting any day now lol. The other keeps referring to her son...and I'm sitting there confused for a second. Then As we walk around a little bit more and talk to other people we went to high school with they all reference their aparent children. One person found it necessary to justify her being at this party by yelling 'I AINT NOBODY MOTHER TONIGHT'...as if that wasn't bad enough it just kept happening...after a while I started to play a game in my mind to find a girl I went to high school with that didn't have any children and was not pregnant. It was hard to say the least.
The party was cool though. It was nice seeing everyone again...and seeing the faces of the people who couln't believe I would even be at the party. Since high scool I haven't really stayed in contact with anyone in particular. The guy whose party it was came over and said hi to me. If I was any girl-ier than I already am I might have giggled and blushed when he called me by name lol. I left after a while because everyone was drunk and as everyone knows...The Young Lady don't drink.

Because of YOU (lol)

2008-08-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

You've been Tagged with MEME
MEME Rules:
1. Put Your itunes/ music player on Shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT
After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY?

The Sweet Escape

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Take it Back

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Breathe, Stretch, Shake

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Through the wire

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Nothing without you

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Flashing Lights

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

DO it

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Phone Sex (OMG LOL)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Lottery

WHAT IS 2+2?

Take you down

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Wonder Years Theme Song

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Victory

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

T-Shirt and my panties on (OMG again! lol)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Come with me

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

She's the one (OMG toooo much lolol)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Kitty Kat

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Sexi Can I

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Don't get lost in the crowd

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Got me waiting

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

I was made for you

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Through with you

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Because of you

Senior Moment?

2008-08-12T10:54:00.000-07:00

I'm having a senior moment.

I had something I really wanted to share...but now i can't remember what in the world I was thinking about. Like my mind went blank and I forgot all together what I was thinking. Its kinda scary.

Man...Imma think twice before I laugh at old people.

Ok that is all.

JOINING THE BAND-WAGON OF RANDOM_NESS

2008-08-12T07:59:00.000-07:00

10 Random things about me

1. I Love Everything Dawson's Creek...since i was 10...till today.
2. I am in LOVE with Zac Efron (High School Musical 3 is coming soon!)
3. Between myself and best friend I have all of the Dawson's Creek Season DVDs and currently collecting FREINDS (my second fav show)
4. I have no feeling in the left side of my tongue. (Freak Novacaine accident)
5. I had my ears pierced when I was 3 months old.
6. I refuse to join a sorority...for no other reason than to rebel against my roots...and surprise the HECK outta my fam.
7. My mom is a Preacher...so yea im a PK.
8. My little sister and I are 8 years apart...and aparently we look like twins..kinda wierd.
9. I was stung by a bee 10 years ago and the bee sting is still in my arm...if u touch it you can feel it..lol
10. I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter Books as a child...and still choose not...

9 ways to win my heart

1. Believe in Jesus Christ...John 3:16. Basically be on the same level as me in the Faith department.
2. LOVE Dawson's Creek and be able to watch all the episodes with me..haha
3. Pay attention to the little things I say and do
4. Be adventurous
5. Cook for me
6. Be flexible
7. Be 'on my level'...I don't want to be the one always motivating you to be all that you can be. I need you to be someone for me to look to for an example sometimes.
8. Because I AM human...I have to be attrated to you
9. Like to CUDDLE!

8 things I wanna do before I die...

1. Please God
2. Understand and fulfill my purpose in life
3. Get Married ;-)
4. Have Children, grandchildren and greatgrandchildren
5. Visit every continent
6. Live in another country for a while
7. Become a Philanthropist
8. Discover something that no one ever has

7 ways to annoy me..

1. Chew with you mouth open
2. Break Promises or agreements
3. Crunch Ice, Slush Snow Balls, intentionally crrruuunnnccchhhh while u walk in the snow
4. Insult someone I love or care about
5. Talk about me negatively behind
6. Be SLOW....not naturally but by choice
7. Be Shallow...and KILL substantive conversations.

6 Things I believe in..

1. Jesus Christ
2. Tooth Brushes as well as tooth paste (mothwash doesn't hurt either)
3. Family
4. Friends
5. Myself
6. TRUE LOVE

5 things I'm afraid of..

1. Going to HELL
2. Dis pleasing God
3. The Big Mouse at Chuck-E Cheese
4. My Teeth Falling out
5. Not being happy

4 of my favorite things

1. To DO: RANDOMNESS...my fav random thing is to go on RANDOM drives with bymyself or a really fun person with the music blarring and the windows down with my hair out and sunglasses on.
2. Song: Always be my baby-Mariah Carey (lol since i was like 9)
3. FOOD: ALICE SPRINGS CHICKEN from OUTBACK with the House Salad, Honey Mustard Dressing and a Loaded baked potato with a Sweetened Iced Tea.. and of coarse the Blooming Onion as an Apetizer
4. Staying up all night watchin Dawson's Creek with my Best Friend

3 things I do everyday

1. Wash myself
2. Thank God
3. EAT

2 Things I want to do right now

1. Go out to eat with my friends (I like to eat)
2. Go buy some shoes!

1 Person I want to see.

1. Take a guess..lol

WHILE I WAS FEARING IT, IT CAME

2008-08-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

This summer I have been recking my brain trying to remember a very dear poem to me. This was my favorite poem in High School and I could't remember it for anything recently. Well this morning one of the line just came to me and as soon as I got to work I typed that chopped up line into google and sure enough the poem came up.

Please read it and let me know what you think. A lot of us are motivatd by fear...and that motivation usually leads to inacation or action that is not reasonable. This poem hits home for me in my personal struggles growing into a woman and getting over fear. For so long I let the things that scared me or the things that intimidated me dictate what I went after and what I aspired to be and what my ambitions looked like. I was a coward and I KNOW God did not give me a Spirit of fear!

Emily Dickinson: "While I was Fearing it, it Came"

WHILE I was fearing it, it came,
But came with less of fear,
Because that fearing it so long
Had almost made it dear.
There is a fitting a dismay,
A fitting a despair.
’T is harder knowing it is due,
Than knowing it is here.
The trying on the utmost,
The morning it is new,
Is terribler than wearing it
A whole existence through.

THAT WAS DEFINITLY NOT MICKEY MOUSE

2008-08-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Ok so granted this court house is over 100 years old and it could be a lot worse..but I just saw a mouse. OMG. Did I scream? HECK YEA. Did I run? HECK NO. I stood up in my swivle chair (almost busted my behind) and proceeded to lean down grab my stuff off the floor (checking for mice inside of my bag) and yelling for the secretary to come help. Well she was no help...she ***OMG I JUST SAW IT AGAIN!!!***
ok where was I? O boy... o yea...so she was no help. The the Clerk who works in this room with me screamed when she came in and for (what felt like) 10 whole seconds we were reduced to 3 bumbling screaming gily IDIOTS. I am literally paralized into this chair. My feet are kicked up on the computer tower and I'm trying my hardest to concentrate on "whatever you like" by T.I. that I just added to my myspace page. Ok so now the clerk left again (she claimed she needed to run to the bank..but i know she just wanted to run from the mouse which at this moment I know is camped out behind HER desk cuz iiiiiii JUST SAW IT RUN OVER THERE!!!...EWWWW) and so now I'm stuck in here by myself!...

Well I'll share with you what I'm watching to distract me from thinking about Mickey's cousin....

LUNCH TIME

2008-08-07T10:12:00.000-07:00

Its finally lunch time YAY. lol. I'm just happy to get out of this office. I am litertally the only one in here...the Judge is out of town...so that means no one is trynna really be in here either. O wait EXCEPT for the dumb intern lol...that would be me.

But leave it to me to try to be extra and be here when the Judge isn't. O well. Like I said...Its lunch time and I'm about to be out. Just thought I would let you know...

A FAN OF THE TIMES

2008-08-07T10:07:00.001-07:00

I AM ABSOLUTELTY LOVING THIS. ALL OF IT. To see a Black Man...intelligent...respected...handsom...family man...it warms my heart and makes me love being black even more than I already did. I am so proud of him and all of his accomplishments. I interned for Hillary and a lot of HATERS try and act like that means I can't like Barack. Well they can go kick rocks. I love OBAMA and am excited that he is where he is. The country needed him to step up...to expose the good and the bad when it comes to race relations in the U.S. among other very important issues.

I feel this weird sense of 'history is being made..so pay attention' creeping up on me. Think about what we are living through as a people. Barack Obama represents more than just the First Formitable Black Democratic Nominee for President. He represents the dreams and hopes of a people who for OVER 400 years....IN THIS COUNTRY...ON THIS SOIL....suffered and endured being an oppressed people. He represents the dreams and hopes of ANYONE who has ever worked and strived toward ambitious dreams that were for so long considered by the world to be TOO ambitious and out of reach in 'these times'.

We should all be so brave as to answer our call to greatness! I am excited. I will cry if he wins and cry if he loses. Its that deep to me.

40 years from now I will be excited to tell anyone I know that I was apart of this great movement. My grandchildren will ask me if 'I was there when....' and I will smile and say 'I sure was'

Yuck!

2008-08-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Ok this is a continuation of the 'Am I OCD?' post.

Things that annoy me..cont.

6) White Cars. I know that sounds pretty general...but I seriously don't see a need for them. Unless its a BMW...i'll make a lltypes of exceptions for BMWs lol. But that's neither here nor there. Where was I? O yes...white cars. They get dirty very fast and so unless your gonna wash your car every single day...im figuring u need to just get a car with some color on it. (Ok so that ranks like a 8.5 on the snob-o-meter)lol

7)Stupid people, which does not include the ignorant or the people who just don't know no better. I'm talking about people who are SMART...but stupid. Like the people who have all types of knowlege...education...degrees...opportunities...but they just dumb as a door knob. Take it how u want it. Ihey just annoy me.

8) People who make promises they don't keep. I hold u to your word. And I try to give the same in return. That happens to be one of my biggest flaws. I count on people to much and take people for their word. That needs to stop.

I'm at work...bored...nothing to do...ready for lunch. Help...

NEVER TOO OLD FOR THE TRUTH

2008-08-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

I know Miley Cyrus is like 6 years younger than me...but who cares. She hit it on the nose with this one. So...before I go to sleep I wanted to share my new favorite video.

ILLUSIONS OF GRANDEUR

2008-08-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

To the 5 who may not know it... this is for u.
It just hit me like a ton of bricks.
Just like when I was 7 and I realized there was no tooth fairy.
Or like when I was 9 and finally gave up on Santa.
Maybe it was more like when I was 6 and the Wizard of OZ was suddenly just a guy behind the curtain.
It just hit me. Like a ton of bricks. Just. Like. That.
If I say I wasn't expecting to learn what I've learned this summer, I would be making an understatement that could only be outdone by my imagination.
YOU let me down. But did you really? Was it an inevitable fall from grace? An in escapable reality that would be unreasonable to deny.
I thought. No, scratch that. I KNEW I could count on my unrealistic expectaions of your super hero persona.
It was only a matter of time I suppose. No one is perfect they say. After all, you never asked me to think the world of you. No, I did that on my own.
1)Maybe it happned when I walked into that office.
2)But I'm pretty sure it's when I walked through the gate.
3)Nope, it was the second time I called that phone.
4)It had to be the first time I saw YOU cry.
5)But it was really when YOU told me.
Are you still wondering how Ms. J, Ms. Prestegious Black Woman College, Ms. I'm going to Law School, Ms. I have a boyfriend that goes to that Prestegious Black Men College, Ms. I've had 4 internships in the last 2 years, Ms. People think I have it together but that's because they don't know me at all, could be so decieved?
Here is a secret about me that I BET only 3 people in this whole world know: I am obssesive compulsively concerned with things that NO one else on earth would possibly think to give a second thought to.
Why? Easy. I care too much. Plain and simple. Not 'too much' like normal people haha. I care too much like...forreal.
All of this to say what?
It hit me like a ton of bricks. Just. Like. That.
You see, it's not your fault because your only human. YOU can't help it. Just like I can't help the fact that they think I am someone I'm not. You see, just like I held un realistic expectations for you; that is the same way people approach me. I am seen as something that I am not. If they really knew me....they would be let down too. Shoot, I let myself down all the time.
So the next time you feel bad because you think you let me down. Don't. Just keep doing what you do.
1) Even when I left that office, your voice rang through my ears. I could't believe I had been deceived. But I really wasn't. Its how the game works.
2) That gate locked me in and when it set me free you were there. YOU let me down. But you really didn't. It was supposed to happen.
3) Just let it ring. With each ring my heart sank. With each word my ears stopped listening. Here we go again. But we bounce back.
4)The first tear scared me. I thought you were weak. I knew I was wrong for feeling that way but I was too young to know bette. It wasn't your fault. You didn't let me down. You are human, as am I.
5)One day Super Man became human. One day I knew why it hadn't happened. It became clear. If I knew 'it'...I wouldn't like you as a person? You say that... but I still disagree. You know I always will.
What did I realize? What hit me like a ton of bricks?
Something basic and true. I'm human and I will mke mistakes. Peope will let me down. I must forgive them. Forgiveness comes from knowing people mess up and moving on from it. I love it. So I'm going to forgive all of you. I hope you will forgive me to.

I'm grown. Now what?

2008-08-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

I have so many thoughts inside of me and its very overwhelming to try and blurt them out all at once. But I'm using this blog as a tool to vent and nag....basically say things that my friends would look at me sideways if I tried to ramble on about.

I intern for a Judge here in Baltimore; however, for most of the summer I was an intern for my Congressman on the 'Hill' in DC. I want to be an attorney one day but I have no clue what I want to actually do with the Law Degree. When I look at my future I can see a lot of things but the career side of it hasn't seem to come into focus yet. I'm about to start applying to Law Schools in a month or two...shouldn't I know what in the world I'm going to law school for??? Yea, I know...a lot of people don't decide what type of law they want to go into until their 3rd year of Law school...but I'm tired of telling people...I just like the law. Its a dumb answer and I sound dumb saying it.

*Side Note: u know those questions/comments that you say but as they are leaving your lips you regret the second you evern opened your mouth? I do that a lot. People say think before you speak...and while I do that most of the time....its impossible to be 100%. I mean people already say I think too much....im just stuck between a brick and a ....hard place. But I digress...

So this Law School thing is the plan. I wanna go straight after college. I took the lsat already but If Imma get a scholarship (which i would need to attend law school) I need to get a higher score. Hence the reason I'm taking the lsat again in the fall.

I'm in love with someone and we have a wonderful friendship but like all things in life there are good times and bad times. He is someone who I relate to and connect with in a way that I have not with anyone else. He's my favorite person, best friend and confidant. People are always saying how perfect we are for each other and how we compliment each others personalities. BUT Right now were working through some of our issues...the main one is taking each other for granted. We got too comfortable and forgot the best thing about out relationship which was the fact that we were in it (the relationship) because we wanted to...not because we had to. So...this summer we took a 'break' and decided to give each other space. The physical space wasn't very hard considering he was in NY doing an internship and I was in D.C. The emotional space was the hard part. I wanted to call and say hi and tell him everything that happened in my day but I couldn't. He reminded me that he loved me everynow and then and called to check on me and see how I was doing...but that was it. I feel like I hung and spoke with his mom more than I talked to him...but i survived it.

I even tried to place my attention on other guys who were in my internship program...but that only led me to my original conclusion....best friend is the only guy i want. No one else compares (Ok now I sound like a cheesy love song). We are getting better though. He took me on a nice outing for my bday...as i described to you in my first post. It was great and I think we rediscovered some things that we had forgotten about. We still have a long way to go but I know we will get it together soon. Lately we've been talking about how we don't want to get back to the way we were...we want to be better than before.

I'm optimistic for my future...professionally and personally. I'll keep you updated... ;-)

Do I have OCD?

2008-08-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

Ok roll with me on this one. The other day best friend said I was being OCD...well he says that all the time....ok, a lot of people say that all the time. haha. Ok so on with my point.

Things that I hate:

1) Indoor pools. I believe if pools were meant to be inside...God would not have made lakes and oceans outdoors. OK that wasn't the best reasoning. I just don't like them...they get sticky and must and start smelling like chlorine and pee. I prefer outdoor pools...like God intended. lol

2) White girls wearing jeans with no pockets on the behind. Ok so sue me. Not that I make a habit of looking at their butts...it just is soo obvious. It looks low class (Ok snob remark...#1). If I could I would make a law....U must wear jeans with pockets on the "butt" lol.

3)The Good Ole Boys who call Condoleeza Rice out of her name by referring to her as "Condi". Its one of the most ddisrespectful things I've ever heard. U never heard anyone calling Madeline Albright...MADYY! ...Give me a break.

4) I hate the sound of snow....crrruuunnnccchhing. YIKES...it makes my teeth grind. Its kinda like the feeling most people get when nails are scraped against a chalk board.

5) I hate people who eat with their mouths open. YUCK. Its just plain nasty. Get some class. (Snob remark...#2)

The Virgin Blogger

2008-08-05T11:35:00.000-07:00

This is my first time doing this so if you would bare with me I'd greatly appreciate it. I can guarantee there will be gramatical errors and mis spellings gallor. BUT I need for you to do me a favor...just let me know I'm not alone in this. I have GREAT faith in God. However....like many people... I sometimes feel like nobody understands what is going on in my head. Some stuff I want to keep to myself and some stuff I just want to YELL outloud. The latter is what I will be sharing with you all. That stuff that I just HAVE to tell someone....yep thats what Imma write. My friend....hmmm I'll call him King Blog....he's like this great blogger and he told me that this blogging this is theraputic...so lets see if he's right.

First I'll tell you a little about myself. I'm 21 years old...that's a new development. I turned 21 last week and u wanna know what I did? I hung out with Best Friend. We hung out at the harbor in the morning...went to one of my favorite places to eat calle Fogo De Chao (u should try it) and then went to a wonderful museum. We took the water taxi over to another part of the city and went to Maggie Moos....best ice cream in the world. I got a smoothie- Raspberry and Pomagranate. After our outing I had a family get together at my house where friends and fmaily came to celebrate my bday. I had an Ice Cream cake...hamburgers...hot dogs...soda. Needless to say I didn't spend my birthday like other 21 year olds. I did my own thing. Thats basically a good introduction of myself for you. I try not to walk with the crowd. TRY is the opporative word.

When I'm not away at school I live with both parents (they've been married for 23 years) and I'm the oldest of two. I have a youger sister who just became a teenager...yes she's 13. My family is big. Each side is big and they all keep in touch. If you tell one person something...everyone will know by the end of the day. That's just how it is.

I'm known as being nice and VERY diplomatic. In fact my life is a somewhat twisted melody. I'm the big sister in the book or in the movie that does everything right...(its a fascade...trust me). People seem to think I have it all together. I attend a prestegious HBCU, I get good grades, I am Pretty (am I conceited for saying that?)...anyways I have had 4 very cool internships in the last 2 years. There are other things I could include but I make myself gag bragging. AHHH I hate it. The fact that people look at my problems and trivialize them because...I seem like I have it all together. Truthfully...I probably don't have any Real problems but HEY... they're mine...so shut your trap.

I sound awkward cursing...so don't expect you'll hear much of that. I carry myself in a way that no one can ever call me anything other than a Lady. I'm sorta conservative....but I am a DEM! O yea BARACK OBAMA all the WAY! I respect my body...but I'll be honest in saying that I haven't always been smart about that one.

SUPER FLAW: I have a super snob within who tries to come out evernow and then but I surprise myself at how well I keep it in. I have this painfully anal way of trying to make everything perfect...whether its tangible or just in my mind. My mom says I consume too much caffeine...and that's why I'm so scatter brained and OCD. Well I think...she's right. Haha. Let's see how this blogging thing goes.