I'm grown. Now what?

I have so many thoughts inside of me and its very overwhelming to try and blurt them out all at once. But I'm using this blog as a tool to vent and nag....basically say things that my friends would look at me sideways if I tried to ramble on about.

I intern for a Judge here in Baltimore; however, for most of the summer I was an intern for my Congressman on the 'Hill' in DC. I want to be an attorney one day but I have no clue what I want to actually do with the Law Degree. When I look at my future I can see a lot of things but the career side of it hasn't seem to come into focus yet. I'm about to start applying to Law Schools in a month or two...shouldn't I know what in the world I'm going to law school for??? Yea, I know...a lot of people don't decide what type of law they want to go into until their 3rd year of Law school...but I'm tired of telling people...I just like the law. Its a dumb answer and I sound dumb saying it.

*Side Note: u know those questions/comments that you say but as they are leaving your lips you regret the second you evern opened your mouth? I do that a lot. People say think before you speak...and while I do that most of the time....its impossible to be 100%. I mean people already say I think too much....im just stuck between a brick and a ....hard place. But I digress...

So this Law School thing is the plan. I wanna go straight after college. I took the lsat already but If Imma get a scholarship (which i would need to attend law school) I need to get a higher score. Hence the reason I'm taking the lsat again in the fall.

I'm in love with someone and we have a wonderful friendship but like all things in life there are good times and bad times. He is someone who I relate to and connect with in a way that I have not with anyone else. He's my favorite person, best friend and confidant. People are always saying how perfect we are for each other and how we compliment each others personalities. BUT Right now were working through some of our issues...the main one is taking each other for granted. We got too comfortable and forgot the best thing about out relationship which was the fact that we were in it (the relationship) because we wanted to...not because we had to. So...this summer we took a 'break' and decided to give each other space. The physical space wasn't very hard considering he was in NY doing an internship and I was in D.C. The emotional space was the hard part. I wanted to call and say hi and tell him everything that happened in my day but I couldn't. He reminded me that he loved me everynow and then and called to check on me and see how I was doing...but that was it. I feel like I hung and spoke with his mom more than I talked to him...but i survived it.

I even tried to place my attention on other guys who were in my internship program...but that only led me to my original conclusion....best friend is the only guy i want. No one else compares (Ok now I sound like a cheesy love song). We are getting better though. He took me on a nice outing for my bday...as i described to you in my first post. It was great and I think we rediscovered some things that we had forgotten about. We still have a long way to go but I know we will get it together soon. Lately we've been talking about how we don't want to get back to the way we were...we want to be better than before.

I'm optimistic for my future...professionally and personally. I'll keep you updated... ;-)